Zopiya

Taking Root

It has been more than five years since I returned to IT in 2021. In 2023, I moved from ERP support into infrastructure. Data centers, networks, servers, virtualization, and security compliance—the foundations that once felt one layer removed—became part of my everyday work.

I helped complete a Level 2 cybersecurity compliance remediation, built infrastructure from the ground up for a new office, and migrated more than fifty virtual machines from VMware to KVM and Hyper-V. On paper, those project names sound impressive. In reality, they were piles of problems: break them apart and work through them, one by one. Thankfully, they all found solid ground in the end.

Between 2022 and 2024, I also finished an in-service bachelor’s degree in computer science. Working by day and studying operating systems and computer networks at night was tiring. But when problems surfaced on site later, I had a better sense of where to begin looking instead of relying entirely on experience.

I got married in 2025. Life entered another stage—not through anything dramatic, but through buying groceries, sharing a home, and dealing with all the small things together. I used to think a relationship could save someone. Now I think it matters more to learn how to live one’s own life a little more clearly first.

I still write in my spare time, and I built a digital garden to keep notes on what I encounter at work, what I read, and the things I come to understand a little better. I used to be impatient, always wanting to prove whether I was good enough. I am less hurried now. Live steadily, do what needs doing well, and take care of the people close to me—that is already enough.

Rebuilding

After the pandemic, I returned to my hometown and worked on the family sheep farm, caring for more than two thousand sheep. Feeding, disease prevention, inspections, recording data—their daily needs arrived right on time. The hands that used to write code were mixing feed and holding a shovel. The gap was real, but the work still had to be done.

Later, I brought over habits from my earlier life: Excel ledgers, inspection forms, vaccination schedules, handover checklists. The tools were simple, but at least things slowly became less chaotic.

Order in the work did not necessarily mean I was getting better. The family business struggled, and a relationship came to an end. I kept trying to find something missing in myself through another person, which left us both unable to breathe. Depression was not simply a bad mood: doctor visits, medication, and physical symptoms could arrive without warning. At the time, all I could do was hold on. Everything else could wait.

In the spring of 2021, I returned to IT as an ERP technical support engineer. I started by handling tickets and checking data, then took part in process optimization, business analysis, and knowledge-base work. The patience, record-keeping, and sense of process I learned on the farm turned out to be useful after all.

I read a great deal in those two years, started writing and organizing my knowledge again, and began an in-service computer science degree in 2022. Later I met my wife. One night, after listening to my past, she said only: “That must have been very hard for you.” I have remembered that ever since.

Finding a Direction

My college entrance exam score was not much to look at. Some people suggested I repeat the year; others thought I could pursue sports. In the end, I chose computer science. There was no deep reasoning behind it—just the interest I had found at thirteen or fourteen, still present by then.

I studied Software Technology at an ordinary college in Zhengzhou. It was the first time I was willing to seriously see something through: my grades gradually improved, I won first prize in a skills competition, and I was named one of the school’s “Top 100 Academic Stars.” There was no sudden breakthrough. I simply finished assignments, projects, and revisions one at a time.

In the summer of 2019, I joined a Hangzhou startup in community group buying, moving from intern to junior Java developer. It was my first time on an engineering team, where I began to encounter code reviews, API integration, and three-tier architecture. Shipping a feature was not the end; whether others could use it and whether it would be maintainable also mattered. I learned that writing code was not just working alone at a computer.

I went back to Henan for the Spring Festival in early 2020. The pandemic cut off my return to Hangzhou, and my first job ended there. The days that followed were not easy, but I kept learning and writing my blog. When you are idle or trapped, you need something to hold onto.

Testing the Waters

I started boarding school in middle school and left home for the first time. With no one watching over me all the time, life suddenly felt a little more like something I could decide for myself.

The obedient, sensible child with decent grades gradually loosened up. I would leave a little homework unfinished, let my mind wander in class, argue with a teacher once or twice—none of it seemed like a big deal. It was as if a rope had suddenly gone slack; naturally, I had to pull at it and see how far I could go.

Later I joined the athletics team. Running in the morning, training in the afternoon, and sometimes slipping off to an internet café at night. Those years were happy, and I did plenty of indulging. Back then, I thought freedom meant no one managing me; consequences could wait until they arrived.

At thirteen or fourteen, trying to level up in the game Roco Kingdom, I wrote my first game script and even crashed its server for a day. It seems absurd now, but it was probably the first time I realized that the things inside a computer could be understood bit by bit—and changed by me.

My gaokao score eventually sat there, unmoved by anyone’s arguments. Sports did not work out, but my interest in computers stayed with me. Looking back, those years were messy, but they were not wasted.